To All the Girls I've Loved Before

I will keep Natalie Portman, Ariana Grande, and that random girl who said, 'You have a beautiful smile,' out of this for obvious reasons.

I was 7, and Helium was my classmate. I don't remember much, not even her face, just her name, and it's not Helium. All I remember was the fuzzy feeling I used to get seeing her daily walk into the classroom. In hopes of finding a glimpse of her, I went to her house riding my bicycle with training wheels and a cute bell, but all I saw was an empty window with lights on. I felt love for the first time without even knowing what it was. The strongest emotion of all, they say, until you hit your toe somewhere.

Neon and I were partnered to do a science project together. We used to sit together in school and tuition. She was excellent in all the subjects except Maths, where I had the upper hand. We spent the whole summer afternoon and evening drawing and coloring the water cycle while laughing and eating. She would tell me her ambitions to become a doctor, and I would explain why the 'Red Ranger' is the best Power Ranger.
One New Year, I bought a greeting card plus a ₹5 plastic rose. I wrote New Year wishes with a glitter pen to compensate for my not-so-good handwriting and stuck my very real rose on the front. I went to her house to hand-deliver my wishes but met her elder brother first and gave him the card instead. Even though I still had a few milk teeth left, I liked them better in my mouth.
Everything about her was pretty, more so her name. She had vitiligo, but I could never notice her skin condition. All I could see was a girl gleaming with grace and kindness, which made the science period feel like recess.

I took extra time setting my hair, tucked my shirt in, borrowed my brother's perfume, and met Argon in the mall. We shared margarita pizza and coke, which I bought, and laughter that she brought.
I couldn't tell her that marriage is just a social construct where two people decide to do laundry and taxes together for hopefully the rest of their lives when she asked, 'Mujhse shaadi karoge?'

Chanchal, bhavuk, aur maasum ye kuch characteristics hai Krypton ke, joki samay ke saath kuch pheeke se padd gaye hai. Samay se uska gehara natta tha. Vo apna samay sabse sanjha karti thi, magar uske mutabik kabhi koi uske samay par kaam nahi aya.
Samay uss tez bahaw ki tarah hai jo kisi ke liye nahi rukta, apna rasta bana kar aage bhad jata hai. Peeche chhod jata hai to badle hue raaste/rishte aur unse bhi zyada badle hue log.
Hum aaj bhi ek dusre se samay se jude hue hai. Mere diye hue samay ki vo boht parwah karti hai aur aaj bhi apne karib sambhal kar rakhti hai.

Xenon ko kitabe padhna pasand hai aur mujhe insaan. Uski baatein uss poetry ki tarah thi jisko usne likh kar sanjhon rakha hai, par kabhi kisi ke saath sanjha nahi kiya. Uske samne aksar hi mai apne aap ko shabdo ka kangal paatta tha, to mai sirf haatho mai chhera aur hotho par muskan liye sirf usko sunta tha. Kuch der mai vo bolti, 'It's like I'm only talking,' aur mai phir muskura deta. I didn't know I was living the 'The Theory of relativity' example.
Sab kuch sambhal kar rakhti hai vo; kitabe bed ke paas, gaane playlist mai aur rishtein... vo sirf dil mai. Moments ko vo tasveero mai sambhal kar rakhti hai, par mere saath tasveere lena bhul jati thi. Uske saath har tasveer mai honi ki khawayish nahi thi, bas jis bhi tasveer mai vo ho usse keechne ka khwab tha.
I am more than grateful for all the favors and flavors she brought into my life.

Each time I have loved someone, I have loved them far more than the last; love multiplies manifold. But love isn't the only thing that multiplies; pain multiplies, too. The more you love, the deeper it hurts. But I will never stop loving because that's who I am, and that's what I do. I still have so much love in my heart to give.

'There are four questions of value in life, Don Octavio. What is sacred? Of what is the spirit made? What is worth living for, and what is worth dying for? The answer to each is the same. Only love.'